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Ziwe interviews Alexis Haines (Neiers) TRANSCRIPT 7/30/20
Ziwe: Okay, now it's time for fantastic icon that is Alexis Haines Neiers. Let's see where they are. Okay. There we go. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited. Also shout out to not reading books. Oh, hello.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Hi, baby. Hi!
Ziwe: Oh my god.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): I put on a look for you. I even put on earrings like the whole thing.
Ziwe: I think you look –
Alexis Haines (Neiers): I think you look way better than I do.
Ziwe: No, I think you look fantastic. May I call you Lexi or do I call you Alexis?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): You can call me whatever you want. I'm having severe anxiety right now.
Ziwe: Why?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): I think the last time I was publicly humiliated was Nancy Jo and like I'm having like, I'm like sweating right now, Ziwe, like I'm fucking drenched in sweat. If I shit my pants right now, I would not be surprised.
Ziwe: Oh my goodness. Don't worry, I will be as kind as I humanly can. Which reminds me, I think of Pretty Wild as like my Citizen Kane of television, so I guess my first question is, are you wearing 4-inch little brown bebe shoes?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): I sold those on like Poshmark. Is that not like the saddest thing ever?
Ziwe: You did?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Yes!
Ziwe: Wow.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): I did. So, the answer's no, I'm wearing no shoes right now.
Ziwe: Okay, Alexis. Now how many…I've watched all of Pretty Wild in the last like three days.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Okay.
Ziwe: Now, how many messages did you leave Nancy Jo?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Um, 30.
Ziwe: 30?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Probably. I mean, yeah.
Ziwe: Are you aware of, like the particular type of like white privilege, it takes to yell at a Vanity Fair reporter about the crimes you committed and its coverage?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): It was very white, for sure. That was a very I mean, yes, I've lived a very privileged life. 100%.
Ziwe: Alexis, where do you stand on socialism and would you consider robbing A-list celebrities like Audrina Patridge to be a form of wealth distribution?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Yeah, I mean, I, I would consider myself very left. I voted for Elizabeth Warren and, and my husband voted for…oh my god, why am I blanking right now. Cause I'm so nervous. Like I can't remember…
Ziwe: Why are you nervous?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): I don't know why. I mean just talking to you on like a Live with 5,000 people, no big deal. Um, but, no, I am very socialist and my husband jokes that I was like the modern-day Robin Hood.
Ziwe: Really? I like to believe that taking Audrina’s custom fitted Joe’s Jeans is not the version of Robin Hood that we write about. Now…
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Maybe.
Ziwe: What did you think of Emma Roberts’ portrayal of you in The Bling Ring? Would you prefer more diversity in the role with like a Zendaya playing you?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Emma Watson. Am I not allowed to correct you though?
Ziwe: Oh, whoops, what did I say?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): I sorry, you said Roberts.
Ziwe: Sometimes I –
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Watson. Um, no. I think that it was…one, regarding having Zendaya who is an incredible actress, I mean amazing, play me would have been a really bad choice.
Ziwe: Why?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): But I think, with regards to Emma Watson, the problem I had was the comments that she made about me and the role, despite the fact that she already knew that I was a convicted heroin, like the heroin part, like my drug addiction part, had already come out. And so, I was actually in treatment at the time that they were filming that movie, and she still was like, “this girl is like the epitome,” I think she said something along the lines of like “this girl is the epitome of like what like I'm totally against, and she's disgusting.” And like, you know that like at that point I already came out with the fact that I had been sexually abused throughout my childhood and was like a full blown heroin addict at the time. So, I've never watched The Bling Ring movie…
Ziwe: Wow.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): And I don't plan on ever watching it.
Ziwe: Wow. And why is that?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Um, I just feel as though you only get so many hours in your life, and I'm not going to spend two hours watching a movie that's just not at all accurate.
Ziwe: Yeah, okay, hot take. Now I noticed there are no black people in The Bling Ring. Is that because you guys were racist and didn't want black people in your gang?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): I think it more so had to do with the fact that we grew up in the fucking suburbs, where there are, it's all white people, which is sad. I, I, there was one black family that went to my middle school and high school, and I ended up dating him and that was the only one in the entire community.
Ziwe: Damn. I noticed, so I watched all of Pretty Wild, the only black person I saw was Vernon Davis in Episode Three. Now, how many black friends do you have?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): I'm happy to say that I have a very diverse community of friends. I'm not going to name them, Ziwe. I’m not going to do it to them. I’m not. But I pride myself on the fact that um, I have a diverse community and actually I don't know if you, I think you saw my stories yesterday, but I was talking about that as we're in the process of adoption.
Ziwe: Yeah.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): They asked us, you know, are you open to adopting a child of another race, and they asked if we understood the responsibility of that and then they also asked what our community is like, um, and, you know, I, we go to a really, um, are you familiar, you're probably not, you're in New York, um, but we attend like the Agape Spiritual Center which is in LA with Reverend Michael Beckwith, and yeah, we have a diverse community of people.
Ziwe: Okay. I loved your, your Instagram stories about how you were kicked out of adoption-based group because you brought up the differences between raising a black son or a white son. So let's just roleplay for a minute, right?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Okay.
Ziwe: I’m your black son. How would you raise me?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Um, well, first and foremost, I would make sure to surround him with…
Ziwe: Me.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): a lot of, or I would surround you, um, first and foremost, I would inform myself about your, if I could, specific heritage, I would learn about black hair, I would be very, I think you have to be, my point was that there is…
Ziwe laughs.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Ziwe! An added responsibility I think it's, first of all, I don't even know if white people at this point should be able to adopt black children.
Ziwe: Wow.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): I'm just gonna say that.
Ziwe: Wow.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Yeah, I don't, because there is an added responsibility, and if you think that raising your white son is the same as raising a black son, you're like, really mistaken. I think that it's ignorant, and that you have to go above and beyond to keep that child safe, and so we would have to have the tough conversations about race really early on and about how to keep yourself safe, and I think that that is, um, it's heartbreaking that we're still having to do this in 2020. But yeah, I think the problem I had in that group was a black woman posed the question like, if you're a white family adopting a child outside of your race do you understand the added responsibility of that? And I said yes. And this, the moderator of the group was like, this is absurd. Blah blah blah blah blah. And I was like, what's absurd is the fact that you won’t acknowledge the fact that black people are more likely to be shot by police, to die in childbirth…
Ziwe: Totally.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): That they're more likely to have negative health outcomes, like, I'm sorry, you need to be aware of that, because the chances of your child, going into the emergency room with appendicitis and not waking out, walking out alive because of the color of their skin is like an actual thing in the United States. I don't know, I don't have the perfect answer. All I know is this, that like –
Ziwe: I’m not asking you to be perfect, and there are several people in the comments who are asking you to adopt them. I just have one more baby question because I'm stuck on this baby thing.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Okay.
Ziwe: I'm a baby, I’m a child, and I'm like, “Waaah! What's SheaMoisture?” What would you say?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Um, SheaMoisture is an amazing haircare line.
Ziwe: Okay, good. Now –
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Yes.
Ziwe: You mentioned that you didn't wake up to racism until five years ago, what woke you up?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Um, yeah, I, well, um, when I got sober, my first couple of years of sobriety were really about me, I really, when I was an active addiction, I didn't give a shit about anyone except for myself, and then in early recover, recovery, I only cared about like me and my family. Um, but, um, I think, when I became a birth doula, I started learning about the health outcomes of women of color versus white women, and I was shocked and saddened to learn about how frequently black women die in the US and started to learn about the fact that, like there's 15,000 midwives in the US and only 2% of them are black. And so I just started to go down like the rabbit hole of like racism in America, and then I watched the documentary The 13th and then I started looking…
Ziwe: Ava DuVernay.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): You know, and then I, I started to be willing to have these tough conversations with my friends, women of color, that has, you know, guided me on this path. And then after that, I just, I think once you open the door to this and like really are willing to wake up to how racist I was, like, in my own microaggressions. I mean, no I I've done a lot, I mean I have a full on Native American woman tattooed on my fucking arm…
Ziwe: You do.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Like fucking cringe, right? Like and there's nothing that I can do to get rid of that, like, what like what can I do and so I didn't realize my privilege. I also think because I grew up in such a chaotic household with so much abuse. Um, the whole wrapping my head around privileged thing was really difficult. And then as I started to do it, it just, things, I don't know, I became really passionate about it to like the point where I've taken my kids out of school and they're getting, we're using this new curriculum that is historically accurate non-whitewashed, secular curriculum, and I'm like, teaching my kids. So right now, I'm actually learning about all of the amazing black men and women who literally built this country and made it as great as it is today.
Ziwe: Shout out.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): That you had mentioned before.
Ziwe: Well, I mean shout out. I've listened to maybe 12 podcast episodes with you in the last like week.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Oh, okay.
Ziwe: And you definitely are having these conversations. Now speaking of learning about black people, I'm going to name some black people and you tell me who they are, okay?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Okay, cool.
Ziwe: Martin Luther King.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Civil rights activist.
Ziwe: Okay, Malcolm X.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Minister, also civil rights activist.
Ziwe: Okay, Fred Hampton.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Don't know.
Ziwe: Angela Davis.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): She's still alive. She's an activist and a prison abolitionist, and I believe she teaches out here in Southern California, if I'm not mistaken.
Ziwe: Maybe, maybe.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): I don't know.
Ziwe: Shirley Chisholm.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): No idea.
Ziwe: Okay, Barack Obama.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Oh my god, my favorite president.
Ziwe: Why is he your favorite president?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Um, I think that it's interesting because I grew up in like liberal, very liberal bubble of Southern California, right? And I thought, and I was raised to be colorblind. We don't see color, like you know when I brought home that black boyfriend, um –
Ziwe: Oh my gosh.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): My mom was not like, “Oh my god!” like, you know what I mean? I didn't have that kind of life, it was very like, just whatever. Point is, um, he was the first president that I could vote for, he passed legislation for gay rights, and I just, I thought we were making massive progress, and while having a black president is great, I have now learned a lot more and I, you know, out of all the presidents that we've had, I think he's the best of all of them. I mean,
Ziwe: Let's discuss more about how Barack Obama reminds you of your black boyfriend. So –
Alexis Haines (Neiers): No! I did not say that! No, no! [Laughing} I didn’t say that. You are putting words in my mouth. No! I do have a crush on Obama. I think he's a beautiful man.
Ziwe: Okay we're gonna stop you –
Alexis Haines (Neiers): My point is that like I lived in such a bubble of ignorance. And there we go.
Ziwe: Okay, sure. Okay, hey, you know, god bless. Speaking, we’ll pivot a little.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Okay.
Ziwe: So you once said that Ryan Cabrera could get any girl he wanted. Do you believe your ideology upholds white beauty standards?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Um, that’s, no, I don't know the answer to that. Do I believe that Ryan Cabrera in 2020, could get any woman that he wants? Absolutely not. And back then, that was stupid for me to say that. No.
Ziwe: Okay, so what was the prison industrial complex life as a gorgeous white woman?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Yeah, I touch on that on my book…
Ziwe: Yeah.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): …and I've spoken about that a couple of times, um, I will say, and this is, you know, when I talked about microaggressions and things like that, like I was scared to go to jail. I thought that it was going to be like this big race war and that I as a white woman would be in a lot of danger, and what I realized was when I got there and, sorry if you can hear my dog eating, there's nothing I can do about it. And what I realized when I got there was that no, it was the women that I was in protective custody with that were really in danger. And these women were, you know, are innocent until proven guilty and have been sitting there for years because they can't afford bail. They have children, um, that they had to leave behind, and they've been sitting in jail cells for years and years fighting cases with public defenders. And, yeah, that was part of my waking up too, like, really getting to know these women, one in particular, and I’ll leave her name out, she was the motherly figure of the cell block that I was in it, and she cared for me when I was detoxing from heroin like I, you see all these crazy things on TV like I watched like Locked Up and like all of these crazy shows that make you so scared for like, and you don't know what to expect. And then I realized that when in jail I was the safest person, probably in the entire jail.
Ziwe: Wow. I think that's important to admit. You said that you got really good at making jail food. What were some of your favorite jail food to make, Alexis Neiers Haines?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Um, yeah so jail food is disgusting. Um, and one of my favorite meals would be I would order Fritos from commissary, and they would give us chili on, I think it was Thursdays, and so I would put the chili and the Fritos, and then put squeeze cheese on top, and that was my favorite meal.
Ziwe: Interesting. Interesting. Now, okay. You said so you used to be a hip-hop dance instructor.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Um, Pole dancing.
Ziwe: Yeah, what was your favorite rap song?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Um, I don't really want to say this, Ziwe.
Ziwe: You wouldn’t share your favorite rap song? Why not?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Okay, um, cuz I feel like I'm gonna be made fun of, um, Tupac. Thug Life.
Ziwe and Alexis Haines (Neiers) laugh.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): I can’t!
Ziwe: You would strip to Thug Life?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): [Exhales] Ooh, okay, yes, I used to pole dance to that song a lot when I was 16.
Ziwe: Okay. Hey, you know what, on Pretty Wild, there was an episode where you went to Cabo to raise money for a charity called Help for Haiti. What does Haiti need help with?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Um, I didn't even know that we were there for a charity until the, till the night of the charity, but that was right after the huge hurricane, I guess. So they were, it was like a relief fund.
Ziwe: I see. Would you say that your mom, Andrea. AHNdrea or ANNdrea?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): ANNdrea.
Ziwe: Would you say that Andera walked so Kris Jenner could fly?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): [Laughs]. Um, Kris Jenner is, um, yeah. Sure, you could say that, I guess, Kris Jenner is like on another level. I..
Ziwe: How old were you when you were doing Pretty Wild?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): I was just, I just turned 18.
Ziwe: Yeah, I was re-watching it. So I watched it when it came out years ago.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Oh, okay.
Ziwe: And then I watched it again as an adult, and it made me viscerally uncomfortable to see because I didn't know if you were legal or not, and it made me uncomfortable to see how you guys were like sexualized. How did like, how does it feel treading back over that territory?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Um, yeah, I mean, over sexualization was something that happened in my life since I was a young child, my mom was in Playboy. We were always encouraged to feel good in our bodies and to be naked and like I said there was a lot of sexual abuse that happened in my household when I was a young child that started around the age of five, um, yeah, what, would I ever allow my daughters to be exposed to the things that I was exposed to…absolutely not. No. I think I look back now, and I think that much of much of television that aired in the early 2000s would definitely not be allowed to air right now.
Ziwe: Wow, so during, during the show you, you would yell at your mom. There was one moment that you screamed at your mom in your lawyer Jeff Rubinstein's office and you said “you don't know what you're talking about this is my fucking case.” Now, this is a strict cultural difference, yelling at parents is not necessarily an African thing or a black thing, I don't know. So my question to you is, what empowers you to yell at your mom?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): I, um, we yelled like that our entire lives, like I remember my mom, calling, yelling at me and calling me a cunt when I was like 12.
Ziwe: Aye-yai-yai.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): So that's just kind of the way that I grew up. It's wild, for sure.
Ziwe: Pretty wild. Do you get residuals on that show.?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): No.
Ziwe: You don't?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): No.
Ziwe: Wow.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): No residuals.
Ziwe: That was a question just for me, by the way. Okay. Okay. Oh, have you, how have you decolonized your mind in the last like three months?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): In the last three months, okay. Um, so, you listen to my podcast?
Ziwe nods.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): I've been, I really since the beginning of my podcast, I've made an effort to have on black women specifically to have these conversations that are really tough. Right now, I'm reading, So You Want to Talk About Race?, which I think is great. And like I said, I'm pulling my kids out of school and developing their curriculum so I'm planning out what they'll learn this year, which we're doing a year like traveling around the world and learning about different cultures. And I'm doing my best to really listen and to seek guidance and to hold myself accountable and to hold my family members and friends accountable.
Ziwe: Would you consider yourself a black ally?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): No, I'm not black.
Ziwe: Okay. Now, who's your favorite celebrity, favorite black celebrity?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Um, I love Scandal. So, I love Kerry Washington like that show is amazing. Um, I just I love, I love fashion, I love the, I love the styling, I love the acting, I love the cast. I think it's. I wish it would have never ended, so good.
Ziwe: Yeah, that show was fantastic, and Shonda Rhimes killed it and so did Kerry. Could you do an impression of Kerry Washington as Olivia Pope?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): No.
Ziwe: No?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): I cannot.
Ziwe: Because you're a fan?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Um, because I could see how that could be really fucking problematic, Ziwe.
Ziwe: What do you qualitatively like about black people?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): This one’s hard. There's no right or wrong answer, right? You either say like qualitatively…like I that's hard, I will say that from the community that I have, what I really love is, um, and my friendships is they're, they, they care about family, and they care about each other and they have big like the families that I have, have big, beautiful, families and great relationships and are just all around good people.
Ziwe: Yes, you’re right. Black people are good people. Now, people want to know about Lindsay Lohan. Have you been in contact with her since “The Bling Ring” went down?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): No, and um, no, this is probably not a good, no, I have not, no I saw her in a sober space together in sobriety. And it was very cordial, and that was it.
Ziwe: Shout out. Shout out to sobriety. I think that that is very, very cool I think that you are a good role model in that regard coming from the unscripted world and sort of finding yourself in that way so I think the shout out to that, truly. Now, you once said, “If Buddha can sit under a tree for 40 days, you can do 180 days in federal custody.” What?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): What. What is right.
Ziwe: What? What?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): 19-year-old Alexis. I, there are no words. Um, very different circumstances for sure.
Ziwe: You also said, “I'm a firm believer in karma, and I think this situation was attracted into my life because it was supposed to be a huge learning lesson to me to grow and expand as a spiritual being. I see myself being like an Angelina Jolie but even stronger, pushing even harder for the universe for peace and for the health of our planet.”
Alexis Haines (Neiers): I stand behind most of that, but I will say Angelina Jolie is probably much stronger than I am.
Ziwe: Why would you say that? That’s, we don't know that that’s –
Alexis Haines (Neiers): I mean, her whole, you know, having to remove her breasts because of potentially having breast cancer, going through a divorce with um, think she has six kids, having her business always being, you know, talked about, personal life. I mean
Ziwe: You know, shout out, to Angelina, because she is fantastic. I think she's a fantastic actress.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): She is.
Ziwe: But we don't do Olympics of strength. We, yeah, we don't do that. Okay, here's another question for you.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Okay.
Ziwe: You said you wanted to be on Real Housewives of Orange County. What would you say to Kelly Dodd, who famously said that she doesn't date black guys?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Um, why? Why would you ever say that? It's just like, I mean, sounds like a microaggression, an issue which sounds like you're racist.
Ziwe: Have you ever worn blackface, Lexi Neiers.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Yeah.
Ziwe: You have?!
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Yeah.
Ziwe: Oh my god, I wasn't expecting you to say yes.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Do you want the story or do you just want to move on? Because either way I respect your decision.
Ziwe: No, let's hear about it.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Um, pre- Pretty Wild, when I was working as a backup dancer in music videos for heroin money. I showed up to do a Marilyn Manson music video, and they dressed us in American flag bikinis with Mickey Mouse ears on with blackface, and I had it, I don't know what's worse, the fact that it was blackface and like I know now what that is, or the fact that at the time, I was so freaking ignorant I didn't even know what blackface was. I mean, that was, what, I feel like, yeah, we have to talk about this, like how ignorant we are, and like how, how many stupid things that I, I've done, and like having those thoughts. My top two racists things are definitely doing that music video and this tattoo on my arm. I mean, and probably having a panic attack before talking about race with you, it's problematic. It's, I don't know what to say. I…yeah, there's nothing that I can do about it now so.
Ziwe: What I appreciate that you provide a forum for your fans to learn, learn stuff. Can you name five black people?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): That I know or like just in general?
Ziwe: Whatever you prefer.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Okay. Um, Sonya Taylor, um Ashlee Marie Preston, um Jimi Hendrix, Ray Charles, Rachel Cargle, the beautiful Ziwe.
Ziwe: You did it, you did it. I love, Ray Charles is your deep cut. Now, we have a couple of questions. This has been a fantastic interview, so thank you for taking the time.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Okay.
Ziwe: What, here's a good question. What are you doing to support women prisoners?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Yeah, so, um there…I should be doing more, that should be a cause that I definitely should take up. Right now, I've got a lot on my plate. I did commit to donating 10% of all of my income from my podcast to, and merch, to black causes, so maybe that will be what I will do like a bail fund or something like that.
Ziwe: Ooh, here's a question for you. Why don't you cover up your racist Native American tattoo?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Well I don't know how I would cover this. Like how do you cover a full sleeve tattoo? Like I don't like, just black? Like just cover it black, like I don't really know what, like, I would do.
Ziwe: Can you name five Native Americans?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Um, my husband's fiancé. I'm not gonna name him and his two beautiful twins, um, but other than that, no.
Ziwe: Wow. Hey, you know what….let's see, ooh do you think you think lip fillers are racist?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): I mean it's definitely, it's an interesting question. I think, um, recently I've been thinking about that more, and I think that anything that is seen as, um, I think anything…it's like the question with like dreads like if black people can't freely wear dreads then white people should not be wearing dreads, right? Like so should white women be able to like fill their lips when like black women are like over-sexualized or like, you know, seen in a certain way because of their lips? I mean, that's, that's definitely something to think about.
Ziwe: Yeah that's— I don't know the answer to that. I have two –
Alexis Haines (Neiers): I don't know the answer to it either.
Ziwe: I have two questions left for you. Now here's a question for you, you once said, “I'm a great person and people who really know me and did do, and did the research on me know the great things I do for the community and for the universe” so what good do you do for your community?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): I don't really want to brag about the things that I do for my community, Ziwe. I mean, I said that when I was 19, on drugs.
Ziwe: No, but I actually think it would be, it's important to talk about your work as you specialize in rehabilitating drug addicts, you specialize…
Alexis Haines (Neiers): I do.
Ziwe: you have a long path from Pretty Wild. Let's just, put that out there just to just like, have your fans know a little bit about the post Alexis Haines.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Okay. Yeah, so I do own a drug and alcohol treatment center where I've been fortunate to treat at this point, thousands of people and help them get sober. I've had the privilege of sponsoring many women in AA, and I donate a lot of money to different causes, and I have really committed my life to helping people get sober and, and with mental illness too, we’re a dual diagnosis treatment center.
Ziwe: I love your podcast.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Thank you.
Ziwe: I think it is so, so interesting and fascinating and you reached out to me, and I had no idea of your post Pretty Wild journey so it was really, really, I really appreciate learning more about who you are, and how much you've changed since you were 18 on an unscripted show. So I really, truly when I say that I think it's really cool what you’ve done with sobriety and how you try to help people, I really mean I think it’s really cool. Now –
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Okay.
Ziwe: [Laughs] Are you terrified?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): No, I, I, the first five minutes were like, oh my god, how am I going to do this and now I feel, I feel I could talk to you for five hours, and I can't wait to have you on the podcast, and I reached out because what I think you're doing here is really important, and I think, I hope that everyone takes away from this moment that like, as white women we have to be willing to be really uncomfortable right now. Like we have to be willing to vote against our own financial best interests, we have to be willing to pay, pay up. We do. We have to use our platforms to amplify black voices. We have to do all of the things right now, and I hope that other women, see this and that they feel comfortable to talk and reach out to others in their community and, um, and reach out and like do the right thing, I, I, that's what I hope. Someone keeps talking about fiancé, and I don't get it in the comments. I'm like so confused.
Ziwe: At one point, you said, I asked you to name five Native Americans and you said, “my husband's fiancé.”
Alexis Haines (Neiers): No, I'm sorry, my mom's fiancé.
Ziwe: Ahh.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): My mother's fiancé is a Native American man and his two beautiful children who I adore.
Ziwe: How are Tess and Gabby doing, by the way?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Um, so Gabby's doing really well she's 31 weeks pregnant.
Ziwe: Oh my god, congratulations!
Alexis Haines (Neiers): And she's two years married. I'm really proud of her.
Ziwe: Shout out.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Um, and unfortunately Tess and I are pretty much like estranged –
Ziwe: Oh no!
Alexis Haines (Neiers): -- at this point. Yeah, I don't know, I love her I wish nothing but the best for her.
She's an incredible mom. She's an incredible woman. We're just on different paths in life right now and that's okay. Like I wholeheartedly like respect, where, like, where she's at, and that's okay. You know what I mean?
Ziwe: Yeah, I think that's, I totally, that's none of my business. Well, hopefully you guys can reconcile as I loved your friendship on the show.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Thank you.
Ziwe: Now, last question is why did you come on to this show?
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Um, like I said, I think that it's really important to be willing to get uncomfortable like I'm a person who is in recovery and I still have anxiety and mental health stuff that comes up, right, and like the thought of doing this was like really, really scary, but I'm grateful that I did, I think, um, you know, I wanted to have you on the podcast to like, explore and like talk about your life. And when you were like, well I'll do it but like only if you come on my show, the first thing I thought is like if I have to go and be publicly humiliated and like make an ass of myself and make mistakes, and like own up to all of my past and even present, racist bullshit, then hopefully other women are going “I can do the same thing too.”
Ziwe: Shout out.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): That’s what I hope.
Ziwe: And you know what, I have to stan. Now, please plug your podcast for the audience one last time.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): You can check out my podcast, Recovering from Reality, it's available wherever podcasts are, and I appreciate you and your time and I hope…
Ziwe: Thank you so much!
Alexis Haines (Neiers): I can't wait to have you on.
Ziwe: I can't wait to do your podcast and also check out her book. It's actually pretty awesome.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Thank you.
Ziwe: Okay, or should I say, pretty wild.
Alexis Haines (Neiers): Pretty wild.
Ziwe: Give It up for Alexis Haines. What an iconic, iconic figure.